Who tells us to do at all?

So this is my first real writing moment again in a long time. I really struggled for a while with the feeling that I have to write anything at all. Because who should we actually do anything for really? Who decides that and why do I have to obey if I don't feel it for myself at that moment? I hear Bob Marley coming from the speaker of the neighbor’s campervan. “Get up stand up. Don't give up the fight ”. But what fight are we actually fighting? For me it is a fight with myself and a fight with the system, or the game in which all of humanity seems to be trapped. I notice that the fight is shifting more and more from fighting against myself and doubting myself, to knowing that what I feel and perceive is correct and true for me and then just fighting against the outside world. But even that fight, if you want to call it that, is not necessarily getting less, but more and more peaceful.

I call it The Protest of BEING.

I've been quiet for the past few months. I didn't know what to write about. In my opinion not much happened from the outside, or at least nothing exciting or fun to write about. And yes, I really have to have something nice or interesting to say because otherwise it doesn't make any sense. And just writing about all the practical and bureaucratic regulations and obstacles of the past months, that doesn't really make anyone happy, I think. Not me anyway, haha! On my inner journey, so much happened and still happens that I often don't even know how to grasp it for myself, let alone put it into words and share it with you. And every act of doing this, such as writing it down here and sharing it with you, takes me again from BEING to DOING.

DOING or feeling like I have to do that, share and show what I am doing, profile myself and defend that what I am doing in my campervan is really productive and valuable, immediately brought me back from the sense of BEING. And that sense of BEING is precisely where I find my healing. Where I can leave my head and thoughts for what it is and feel my heart. Where I can feel one with nature. Feel the sun and wind on my skin and really see and absorb all the beautiful colors and shapes in nature.
Then everything that goes on in my head, mainly fear and control stuff, is suddenly no longer the predominant factor, but I can look at myself with gentleness, trust and motherly wisdom and humor. Feel real compassion and from there experience space again for the next step on my path.

The sun is shining and the river I am now parked along side from with Betsy Bus and it flows boisterously and yet with focus and confidence that it knows where it is going. Just a moment of hard current, to return to rest and soft flow after half a minute. Just like emotions, actually. The river represents the flow of emotions and the sun represents the compassionate light that I am allowing to shine on the thoughts, beliefs and judgments that I hold after the river has long since returned from turbulent to the flow of BEING.

In other words, the emotion that lives only in the moment and is not present for more than a minute or a few minutes. So the art and the healing of BEING, in the moment, without judgment with all there is. Self love and non-conformism to the world outside of me. That is more or less what I have been doing in recent months and of which I feel that I can now share a bit here, without immediately disappearing from that BEING energy again.

I bring my hands to my face and gently and lovingly press them against me. I can smell the coconut oil with the drops of essential rose oil in my palms and enjoy the fragrance, the softness and the warm touch. This morning, after a long time, I did yoga again in the open air. In a very beautiful spot on the water near the cows that roam freely and peacefully here. I see soft fluffs of seed float by and the glittering flicker of insect wings on the other side of the water. The geese that fly chattering loudly to even more beautiful places. I also hear the highway on which this little paradise is located and that is also welcome.

Beauty and Shadow in Balance.

While writing I listen to a beautiful piece of music composed and performed by the exceptionally talented and loving Eline Bierling, called Ascension. And that's so fitting with the journey that I and so many others are on with me right now. The ascension of the individual in balance with the collective ascension of our time towards a more free and loving state of BEING. This may sound strange in this time of polarization and restrictions on our freedom because of the virus, but still that is where we are moving towards in my opinion. We are now in the bottleneck, or the birth canal, feeling the chaos and the pressure at its heaviest, too shoot out of that tunnel any time now, into the vast lightness. Born again in a space of unprecedented possibilities and love.

And what is left of that ultra-human 3D urge to have to and prove ourselves to our peers for fear of falling out outside the group and not survive? Not much if you ask me. For in that new, more loving 5D world, we can truly be aware of our immense value as BEING beings just by existing. Soul power poured into a human travel suit. Then all that having to and doing falls away automatically and we can enjoy our essence, namely unconditional love and wonder. Then we may celebrate life and sing and dance on Earth, to help her raise her special and loving vibration even further.

Are you traveling with me?

PS: the coming days I can finally experience my first festival of this season, with corona restrictions of course, but still with a lot of love and BEING energy (Contemporary Youth Summer Festival). And then on to “Het Grote Fijne Zomerfestijn” at camping De Ottermeerhoeve. And then really across the border to Italy for the Naked Retreat, and then hopefully continue through Southern Europe. So in the coming months my outer journey will also get a bit more colorful 🌈💕